Understanding

Daily writing prompt

What’s something most people don’t understand?

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I don’t think most people understand each other.

We make so many quick judgements about people at a passing glance, just based on how they look, how they talk, or how they walk.

We don’t understand where someone else came from, what their life was or is like, and we don’t understand why some people act the way they do. Some don’t understand why others think differently than them, or act differently than them. Some sadly don’t even understand that no one has led the same life they had and therefor cannot do or believe something they can.

But you don’t always have to understand where a person is coming from to understand them. You just have to understand this: we’re all human. We all matter. We all have thoughts, feelings, passions and dreams. If we understand that, then we can understand each other.

We need to stop judging and start understanding.

Daily Prompt # 8

Daily writing prompt

How often do you say “no” to things that would interfere with your goals?

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Thankfully, I haven’t had to worry about something interfering with my goals, especially my main ones. If it ever came up, I would absolutely refuse to do something if it interfered with my writing and selling said writing. I haven’t hit the stage where I need to meet some deadline yet, and my job never interferes with my writing.

As to my other goal of staying single and childless for life, I will always say no. I said yes to a date one time and I regretted it ever since.

I have had to say no a lot to people, but that’s usually just to preserve my sanity or because I’m exhausted; nothing to do with goals. Just remember, it’s ok to say no now and then and give yourself a break. “No” is a complete sentence.

Daily Prompt # 7

Daily writing prompt

What’s a secret skill or ability you have or wish you had?

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Really, the ability to manipulate time. What I wouldn’t give for the power to just pause time and work on all the stuff I want to work on in no time at all. I think of how much I could get done, how much sleep I could catch up on. I could pause time in the middle of work and just take a break.

I would also want the ability to rewind time. If I could go back and stop myself from making terrible mistakes, it would be amazing. And, of course, I would go back so I could see my dad again. I would go back and warn him not to go to the place where he got Covid in the first place, or tell him to go to the hospital before it’s too late. I would just want to see him one last time. And tell him I love him.

Daily Prompt #5

How would you rate your confidence level?

Ha! What confidence level?

Ok, to be fair, I do have a bit of confidence. It really depends on the situation. Anything involving crowds, public speaking or singing, my confidence is in the negatives. When it comes to trivia or just knowledge, I will second guess myself constantly. I’d rate that at about a four at the most.

My art and writing is where I have the most confidence, but that often dips due to the reception of my work. I’m also pretty good at giving advice and just listening to others’ problems.

I’d like to hear where others have the most and least amount of confidence. I don’t have a lot of confidence, but that’s just me. Lots of people have more or less confidence than I.

Daily Prompt #4

Are you superstitious?

It would be too easy to just say yes or no to a question like this. No, I’m not superstitious, but I am fascinated by them and how they came to be.

For example, the superstition that if you spill salt you’ll be plagued by bad luck, unless you throw a pinch of it over your shoulder. A long time ago, salt was a precious thing. It was pretty expensive and people back then used it for preserving meat in the winter, so it was very valuable. Of course, spilling salt was seen as disastrous. Seems kind of wasteful to then throw a pinch of it over the shoulder, though.

Breaking a mirror is also bad, especially back when mirrors were made of silver. Walking under ladders? Well, there might be something or someone on top of that ladder and if you bump into it, it’s going to fall. Step on a crack and break your mother’s back? Well, you can easily trip if you step on a big enough crack. And sidewalks and roads were a lot less safe back then.

Then there’s the ones that are unlucky in some cultures and lucky in others. 13 is the English unlucky number, while it’s the number 4 in other places. Black cats are considered unlucky here, but they are hailed as lucky in other parts of the world.

It’s interesting to think about. It allows us to learn about history and culture when you go deeper into the rabbit hole of superstitions. But no, I am not superstitious.

The Animal I would be?

Which animal would you compare yourself to and why?

It’s hard to say, but if I really had to compare myself to an animal, I would probably be a cat. And it’s not because cats are one of my favorite animals.

First of all, I love to sleep a lot. And I am happiest when I am nice and warm. Find me a nice warm spot and I will refuse to move from it. I don’t like being touched in certain places and if you come up behind me, I will be on the ceiling when you startle me.

I like to pretend I’m graceful, but honestly, I’m dropping stuff all the time. Because let’s be honest: not all cats are as graceful as they appear to be. If I am hungry, you will know about it.

Just like how cats know they’re superior to every other animal, I know all left handers like me are superior to everything.

I’m not good with being around people I don’t know, but I will cling to those I love. Sometimes I want all the attention and sometimes I just want to be alone, holed up in my room. But even if I don’t always show it, I still love my friends and family.

Oh, and I often just stare off into space for absolutely no reason.

Dear Me,

Write a letter to your 100-year-old self.

I hope I’m actually still alive at 100, unless all my friends and family are gone. Then I would rather go a lot sooner.

I hope things are better where you are. I still miss dad where I am. Does it ever get better? Does new pain lessen the old pain of losing someone, or does it just make it worse? When did mom go to join him? I hope it took a long time, at least.

I also hope that things are better in the world. We’re still fighting for basic human rights, so I hope it’s better in the future. Has our books changed the world yet? I better still be writing when I’m 100! Maybe we can be the world’s oldest writer!

I don’t know what else to say. Hopefully I still have my memory when I’m that old. I’ve heard of writing to your past self, but I’ve never much thought of writing to my future self. I hope I still enjoy all the same things. I better still be single and childless when I’m 100.

Someday I would like to write my memoir after I become an established author. If I ever need reminders of my life, I can read that.

That’s all for now. Too bad time travel is impossible. It would be amazing if you could actually write back. Maybe someday I’ll write another letter to myself and put it somewhere when I need inspiration. Anyway, see you in about 68 years! Peace!

Love, your past self

It’s complicated

Do you believe in fate/destiny?

Here’s the thing. I think our choices are predetermined based on our personalities and experiences. Or at least, we can predict a lot of the time what someone is going to do or choose if we know that person. I feel like if one were to go through the motions, you can easily know what will happen.

However, life is chaotic and unpredictable. We don’t know what’s going to change us or happen to us when it comes to outside influences. If two guys get into a car wreck and one of them is someone who thinks he can do no wrong and the other is meek and timid, chances are we can tell who’s going to take the blame for the accident, even if it wasn’t their fault.

But things like fate and destiny? Bullshit. There is no outside force that will determine what’s going to happen to you. Only yourself and the people/living things around you. Your mind can change at any moment. There is no set path. The future is not set in stone and that’s the beauty of life. Believing in fate or destiny keeps you from actually believing in yourself or putting in the work that will help you achieve the future you want.

You could see a homeless person on the street and say “well, it’s their fate to starve.” Or you could actually make an actual choice to help them. Either way, it’s not fate.

We all have things in common and we all have differences, and those are what determines how we act, how we interact and how we move forward. Not something as simple as “fate” or “destiny.”

Was it “fate” that my dad had cardiac arrest and died? No. It was the fact that Covid increases the risk of heart problems once you get it. It was the selfish people who refused to wear a mask and get the vaccine that allowed the virus to spread through their selfishness. And it was the person who gave my dad Covid in the first place.

The Impossible Wish

They ask me what I want for Christmas
I tell them “I don’t know”
I tell them, but that isn’t true
I know what I want
But I know it won’t come true

I want to see you again
I want to hear your voice again
I want to feel your warm, strong embrace again
I want to see you smile again

I want to hear all your bad jokes
I want to hear you sing
I want to tell you “I love you”
I want to hear you say it back

I want to go back in time and warn you before it’s too late
I want to wake up each morning and know that you’ll be there
I want to make the hurt go away
I want to erase that day

I want heaven to be real
So that I know I’ll see you again some day
I want God to be real
So that I can ask him to bring you back
I would give anything to bring you back

I want you back with us
I want someone to tell me it was just a nightmare
I want to see you in my dreams
I want to know everything about you before it’s too late
I want to hear you laugh again
I want to make you proud of me

I want you back again
I want you back again
I want you back

But I say I don’t know what I want
Because I know I can’t have that
I know it won’t happen, no matter how much I want it
I don’t know what I want
Except for an impossible wish

RIP, my dear father. I will forever miss you. I will never forget you. I love you so much.

Awareness Cross-Stitch

October was both Breast Cancer Awareness month and Domestic Violence Awareness month. I wanted to do something to honor those two causes, so I decided to take the two ribbons and have them make a complete heart with their shape. With my message to all the suffering women out there.

Obviously, breast cancer’s ribbon is pink, and domestic violence is purple, which I think made the two connect even more. This is an original pattern that I made myself. I didn’t use a preexisting pattern or anything, so it was a little difficult coming up with a symmetrical pattern and making sure the two ribbons made the right shape.

I’m hoping to donate this project to a good cause. And continue to spread awareness for these two important issues.